Heartbreak Is Half The Fun, You Bring The Bullets I’ll Bring The Gun

Authors Note: This is Maddi[williamxo] and I's new fanfict. We have been working on this for a very long time. We've had many fights over this, which has caused the same amount of break-ups. But the more you fall, the easier it is to stand up. 
I hope you like it. :]

Andrew
Hannibal
Jacqueline

Jayden
Theodore

--Prolouge--
Men in white robs huddled around an operating table. Lightning struck outside the window,allowing Theodore to see a slight glimpse of his new friend. He looked around,remembering the first time he saw this room. It was horrifying. He was horrifying. They were horrifying. The surgeon called to Theodore, telling him to fetch the scissors. They seemed to be
fascinated with operations, Theodore never understood why, he never asked. You don't ask them why, they will either tell you or you will be harmed. It took Theodore many days to realize this, thankful, the new creation will not have to suffer as much as he did.
"Theodore!" The surgeon yelled.
"Sorry, sir." Theodore said, quickly rushing over with the scissors. He kept his head down, you never looked them in the eyes, or you would be harmed.
"Thank you, now go sit."
"Thank you, sir." Theodore didn't know the men in white robes names. He had to refer to them as sir, or he would be harmed. 
Thunder ripped through the sky, Theodore jumped and held onto his bear, Alfred, tighter. Alfred was odd looking. He was blue and green checkered, his eyes had been sewn on with black embroidery thread in the shape of X's. His mouth, looked like one of a corpse, it was sewn together,
so it wouldn't speak when it wasn't supposed to, as Theodore was taught. There were two safety pins in his left ear, they insisted of it. It wouldn't be long until Theodore had a new friend to play with.
The surgeon was almost done with the stitches. Another flash of lightning tore through the sky, allowing Theodore to see his new friend more clearly. The boy had lightly tanned skin. His hair was trimmed, close to his scalp. His hair was a medium brown. To Theodore, it looked as if the boy had brown eyes, the same color as his hair.
"Theodore! We have completed your new friend." The surgeon said.
"What are you going to name him, sir?" Theodore asked, knowing if he left out the 'sir,' he would be harmed. The surgeon looked at the rest of the men in white coats and they all nodded their heads in unison.
"We are in a good mood today, Theodore. You may name him." Theodore always wondered how they knew what each other were thinking, but he never asked, or he would be harmed.
Theodore smiled and nodded his head once, "Andrew, sir."
Again, the surgeon looked at the rest of the men and again, they all nodded their heads in unison.
"That sounds laudable, Theodore, thank you."
"Your welcome, sir. Thank you for letting me choose Andrew's name." Theodore smiled and nodded once more.
"Your very welcome, Theodore, you have been very honourable, you deserved to be rewarded." The surgeon smiled, along with the other men.
"When will you complete the life, sir?"
"In about 10 minutes Theodore, please be patient."
"Sorry, sir, I'm just extremely excited."
"And you have every right to be, just sit on the gurney over there," The surgeon pointed to a faded grey gurney by the entrance to the room, "When Andrew is conscience, I will tell you."
"Yes, sir." Theodore quickly hurried over to the gurney the surgeon had pointed to and silently sat down on it with Alfred tightly in his grasp.
"Hello, Andrew." The surgeon said, as he waved at Theodore to come.
Andrew did not say anything.
"Theodore, do you mind talking to him? We will leave the room." All the men in white robes quickly exited the room behind the surgeon. Theodore started to open his mouth, but Andrew beat him to it.
"Wh-who are you?" He asked, his voice shaking with fright.
"I'm Theodore." Theodore replied in a calming tone, he still remembered how he felt the first day he opened his eyes to this dark and scary room.
"Then...who am I?"
"You're Andrew, I named you, do you like it?" Theodore smiled, Andrew's face remained traumatized.
"Yes, I do." Anderw replied, "Why am I here?"
"You're here...because we are experiments."
"Ex-experiments?" Andrew asked in disbelief
"Yes, we are here to help the men in white robes."
"Who are they?"
"They are from the government. They are testing to see if they can create functioning humans from dead body parts." Andrew's face immediately turned in disgusted, he looked at his body, stitches everywhere. Theodore was sure he was going to upchuck, after all, when Theodore first learned this news, he did for 3 days straight. He quickly grabbed a bowl and handed it to Andrew, but he pushed it away.
"I'm fine, it's just...strange."
"Yes, it is. I am going to tell you all about us, and all about the standards that are set by the men in white robs."
"Are we like...brothers, then?"
"Yes, and no. We are most likely not biological brothers but parts of us could be, I highly doubt that though. Although because we will be raised together we could class each other as step-brothers."
"Oh...then are the men in white robs our fathers, then?"
"Yes, but they dislike being referred to that, instead call them sir, and put it in everything you say to them."
"Do they get mad easily?"
"It depends, if you do everything I tell you to, I guarantee they will not raise a hand to you."
"They...they hit you?" Andrew's face was now back to pure horror.
"Yes, that is why I am telling you all of this. You do not have to go through what I did."
"Did you have anyone to help you?"
"No, I did not. I am the first."
"I'm sorry..."
"Please, do not apologize for their actions, you had nothing to do with it, but it is now my duty to protect you."
"Thank you, Theodore, very much."
"Like I said before, It's my duty," Andrew smiled for the first time, "I will first tell you about us and what is expected of us aswell as al the other details."
"Okay."
"The idea of creating us started first in 1937 during the Second World War. The Americans needed a way to beat the Germans, as they were slowly invading their allies countries and cities. The Americans thought if they could create new soldiers from already dead soldiers, they would have great power. Almost like a 'super soldier.' This, of course, failed because they did not yet have the great medical extent that we do now. The Americans didn't stop trying to create us, even after the war ended in 1945.
"As the medical resources grew, so did the creation of us. The government has kept the creation of us a secret since 1937, and will continue to until we are perfected. In the mean time, we have to serve the men in white robes because they are classed as our 'masters,' almost like we are dogs. In a way, we could be classed as untrained dogs, so I presume the master thing fits perfectly."
"When you say you are the first," Andrew paused.
"The first to live, yes." Theodore replied.
"So that makes me the second to live?"
"Yes, it does. I have been living on this earth in my form for almost 10 years."
"Do we age?"
"No, because we are already made of dead body parts, we do not age."
"What about our blood? If we cut ourselves, do we bleed green, or something?"
Theodore laughed, "We do bleed, but we dont bleed green. Our blood is the same color as the surgens or a random human on the street."
"Aw, I was hoping for green blood."
Theodore laughed again, "We don't need to be more freaky then we already are."
There was silence for about a minute, comfterble silence, though.
"Are...are we freaks?" Andrew asked.
"Yes, but the men in white robs refer to us as 'monsters.'" Theodore replied, looking down as he did so.
"What about our expectations?" Andrew asked, quickly changing the subject.
"We are expected to perform many tasks for the men in white robes. We have to serve to their every need. We can not complain, and we have to live off what they give us. As we speak, they are probably working on a scar remover, which allows us to look like normal humans. They are hoping that if they create a solution strong enough, all of our scars will
disappear completly and we will be able to attend normal human activities, and since we look like teenagers, we would go to high school."
"Do you want to go to high school?"
"Yes, I would very much like to go there, it seems like a wonderful place," Theodore lowered his voice to a whisper, "and we wouldn't have to tend to the surgens."
Andrew and Theodore smiled.
"Since they are trying to create this 'scar removal,' we have to help them?" Andrew asked.
"Yes." Theodore's eyes were distant.
"...Does it hurt?" Andrew looked down, afraid of the answer. Theodore was looking him in the eyes.
"Sometimes, but remember, you can not complain, no matter how much pain you endure."
"Okay. I have one more question, is that okay?"
"Yes, you may ask me any question you like at anytime."
"Can I ask them questions? The men in white robs?"
"NO! Of course not! You may never, ever ask them a question and you can never speak to them unless you are being spoken to!" Theodores face was suddenly hard. Andrew didn't like this expretion
"I'm sorry!" Andrew cried.
"No, I am sorry, I shouldnt have exploded like that on you, it was wrong and I am terribly sorry."
"Why are you so nice to me? If you were 'raised' in a horrible atmosphere, wouldnt that be all you know?"
"I was raised here, but when I was first 'born,' I had different masters, they were much kinder and they loved me, they were true parents. The men we have now, they are cruel, the surgeon is the nicest and he has the most athority here. I was raised in a kind place, that is why I am kind now. I don't want you to be raised in only a cruel place, that is why I am
telling you all of this."
"Theodore, why were your old masters reasigned?"
Theodore's face turned grave, "They weren't exactly reasigned...they were murdered."
Andrew gasped, "By who?"
Theodore looked in Andrew's eyes, "Who do you think?"
Andrew gasped again.
"Yes, I know, they are cruel people, and I am here to teach you differently."
Andrew looked down into Theodores arms and noticed something, "What's that?" he asked.
Theodore smiled, looking down at Alfred, "This is my teddy bear, Alfred. My old masters allowed me to make him. and our new masters allowed me to keep him."
"Thats kind." Andrew said smiling, "May I see him?"
"Yes, you may." Theodore handed Alfred to Andrew, who inspected him carefully.
"He's cute." Andrew held Alfred in his arms for a few minutes.
"Yes, and he was my only friend until now." Theodore smiled at Andrew, and Andrew smiled back.
"It's always good to ahve friends who can talk back to you." Andrew laughed and Theodore joined in.
"Indeed, it is."

 

...Ohhh, where do I begin?? Well. I went with lizzy[tellmewhatillneverbe] and in the line...hotguys. <3 I never knew hot boys existed in Winnipeg. xD. and then at the merch table...No one was in line for sing it loud. so tragic. so we went and I got a sweater, and a poster because I gave Ryan, who is the merch guy, a tip. :] and then after lizzy got her stuff, we went inside and we got riiiighhhhttttt up to the stage...far side, though, right by the speakers. lol. and then nate<3333 came and he was standing and we got pictures and signed my sweater/poster. and when he signed my sweater he wrote "I<3U" and I was like "I LOVE YOU TOO!" and he was like "I LOVE YOU!" xD.he is soooo nice. I love him to death. <33333 and after, we got these chicks beside us to watch our spot and we went up on the balcony to get bens signature...and we left the camera in lizzy's bag so we told him we would get a picture later and then..HE SAID HE DIDNT LIKE REGINA! But I wonder why, CONSIDERING YOU GUYS BOOED THEM. If you were one of them...I will find you..and I will hurt you. I promise. But ANYWAYS. then they played[30minuteslater] and GASHH! It was sooooo goood.<3 I could barley understand pat..but thats okay. :] Nate...between songs, he randomly came over to me, and touched my head and made a circle with his finger. So random. but soo cute.<3 and then they finished and the spill canvas came on...the lead singer spit on everyone...and yeah...then motion city soundtrack came on. then we left. and we hung outside for alittle. we played cards...lizzy showed off her awesome card dealer skills. hawt. then we talked with nate and ben. It was awkward...I was like "..." and he was like "..." and lizzy was like "say it!" and I was like "..." and he was like "did you want something.." and I was like "You thouched my head." and he was like "yeah. I know." and I was like "..."*weirdlook* and he was like "It was very beautiful" XD. and I forgot to ask him why..but I asked him later, when it was done and everyone swarmed him. and he was like "because its fun...and your awesome." haha.  oooh. and the merch guy, Ryan. he has a band. its called. Take Cover. and he showed us their myspace page. and he has facebook AND buzznet, so ima add them as soon as im done writing this. <3 I got his autograph. and a picture with him. hehe. Pat was nice. :] XD. good story...after the whole "it was very beautiful" thing. Nate and Ben and Ryan and some random chicks sang me happy birthday. Ben said he wouldnt sign the girls stuff if they didnt sing me happy birthday. and Nate was like "and when we say her name, we have to point at her!" XDDD. and he almost pointed when they sang the first YOU. And then he did the whole "I didnt just do that I was fixing my hair" thing. hes so nice and so cute. AHH! I love him. xD. hes replaced jack. : O Oooh. and RYan smelt really good..when I took a picture with him I was like "You smell good." xD. It think thats it..theres some..non important stuff I left out..like that chick "That would be awesome if I got spazed on" Gosh. *punches them in the face* but I love sil...<3 I want to see them again. I LOVE YOU GUYS! AND I LOVE YOU RYAN! AND RYANS BAND, TAKE COVER! <333

and if I missed stuff, i'll add it when I put pictures of me and everyone up. :]

-love sarah.<3

He sat, cold and alone. Silent tears ran down his cheeks. He never thought grieving could be so hard. But he also never thought he would have the need to grieve. He never thought this would happen.
The wind blew, blowing his blonde hair around recklessly, revealing his face to the world. Quickly, we his free hand he held it down. He was ashamed that he was crying, everyone had told him he was allowed to cry, but he still felt wrong. She wouldnt have wanted him to cry over her. She wouldnt of wanted him to be sad because of her.
"I just want you to be happy..." the voice of her whispered in his ear. His head shot up, darting everywhere, looking for her figure somewhere in the darkness.

He sighed in defeat, and pushed himself closer to the wall behind him, craving for some sort of touch. He pressed his eyes closed and tried to think of her leaning against his back. The cold brick wall started to feel softer and warmer, he could feel the false burning sensation of the skin to skin contact on his back. He knew it was all in his head...but it felt so real. He turned, and pressed his lips to the false women leaning against him. He burst out crying when they came in contact with the brick wall. It wasnt what he was hoping for.    
"Its all in my head..." he whispered to himself, chocking on his tears.
"Its allowed to be, love." her voice whispered in his ear again. This time he didnt move. He swore he could feel her sitting in his lap, her head pushed into the crook of his neck. Her dark brown hair, tickling his neck. He wrapped his arms around the counterfeit women, giving him so much sensation and warmth.

The memories of her with him brought tears to his eyes. All memories with her was good to them, even the less fortunate ones.

It was a cold winter night, the power had gone out and they were cuddling on the couch, candles flickering around them.
"You know, this is my baby blanket. Its giant!" he spoke excitedly.
"Yes it is." she laughed.
He sighed happily, starring at her, etching her face even further into his memory.
She looked up at him, "What?"
He smiled, "Nothing, youre just so beautiful."
She shook her head, "You always say that."
"Thats because its true."
"I dont know what you are talking about."
"Im talking about you..." he whispered into her ear.

Shivers ran down her spine. She placed her head back into the crook of his neck. He gently nuzzled her and held her tighter in his arms. They sat in silence for awhile, just enjoying each others company.
"Anthony?" she asked, her lips moving against his skin.
"Yes, dear?" he asked, lifting her head up so he could hear her more clearly.
"I love you." she said, staring into his ghostly blue eyes.
He smiled and put her head back to its previous position. He used one of his hands to stroke her hair while the other one stayed wrapped around her.
"I love you, too."

His tears began to flow as if an ocean had been trapped in his head. That was the last time they had exchanged any real words. Made an attempt at conversation. He missed her terribly, already. She had only been gone since the morning. He was yearning for her, his heart felt as if it was stabbed a million times and placed in a blender. The worst thing was, he knew how much it hurt her when she left. He was aware of the pain she endured, but never experienced it. He wished deeply it had been him instead of her. He was nothing without her, and he now had nothing to live for.
"Dont. Even. Think about it." her words were stern. Though he knew she was just a memory. A memory that he loved. He still had a connection with her. She was there...just not physically. She was still in his heart, and would remain there as long as he could help it. He would take revenge on the man who did this to her...

He was sipping coffee in his office, the television being the least interesting thing there. He glanced up at it, and saw a picture of her. He was stunned. He couldnt hear what the newscast was saying. He stood up, dropping his coffee mug on the way and stumbled to the television.
"Live, breaking news. 24 year old women hit by drunk driver. The womens name was Sarah Harcus. The males name is Joseph Silvertein." The lady said, her expression was grave.
Why did she use was for Sarahs name? Was is past tense...Oh no, no. He thought, tears forming in his eyes.
"Fatal car crash, police are saying too many have died in DUIs crashes this year."

His mind went blank, except for one key word. Fatal. Her crash was fatal.

Shes...shes...no, she cant be. She promised me shed come back. He was hysterical and his co-workers could hear his crying from the other side of the office building.
He heard his office door open but he didnt care who it was, it wouldnt be her.
"Are you okay?" One of his co-workers asked, he didnt care who it was, he just wanted them gone.
"Get out." He said angrily. The person didnt say anything, and soon after he heard the door shut.
She might be still alive...maybe the coroner made a mistake! I have to go help her! He thought to himself, jumping to his feet and running out of his office. He ran down the stairs, not even thinking about waiting for the elevator. When he got to the ground floor, he dashed out the doors and ran towards his car. He didnt stop to wait for traffic. He didnt even realize there was cars honking and drivers screaming at him. He quickly jumped into his car and tore out of his space, heading straight for the hospital.
He demanded to see her, the coroners warned him he shouldnt, but he went ahead anyways. Her was was cut in so many places, it looked horrible. It was torn up, her cheek was bruised and her nose looked broken.
"Did she suffer?" He asked.
The two coroners looked at each other.
"Tell me the truth." He glared at the two men.
One of the men looked down and the other one spoke, "Yes, very much."
He clenched his fists together and his face turned extremely hard. He looked at both of the men. They were frightened of him. "Thank you." He walked out.

"Im sorry. Im so sorry." He cried out to nothing. He didnt get a reply from the invisible women. He cried harder. He wanted to hear her again, to feel her. It seemed as if she had left him, for the second time. He couldnt stand it. He had to have her. His heart pulled in all directions. He was ready to do anything to get her back. If at least for the moment. He had to to tell her something before she moved on into another life. So he took out his switch blade from his back pocket. He thought about how he couldnt do anything without her, how he had no one else to turn to. No one else to love.  No matter how much he thought of ending his own life, she didnt speak. He sighed, and lowered the blade to his wrist.
"Havent I already told you specifically NOT to do that?" Her voice come out of no where. He silently cheered in victory.

"I have to tell you something." He said to the air. He thought for sure someone would hear him talking to himself and send him to a mental hospital, but he didnt care.
"Quickly, Nino." 

Nino, she hasnt used my nickname for awhile... he thought to himself. He took a deep breathe, "I love you. I always have and I always will."
"I love you too. Dont forget about me, but dont dwell on me either. I just want you to be happy."
"I wont. Ill never be able to love another..."
"Please, for me."
"Never."
He could hear the false women sigh, "Goodbye Anthony, I love you."
"Goodbye Sarah...Youll always be mine."
He sank further into the ground and cried.

No seriously. Im having this fight with mariana. Its pretty funny. So tell me who is better, and here is some of the convo-->

Mmmkay. I wrote a one shot. I was inspiared. Lol. Anyways...yeah, here you go. :]

Champagne’s For Celebrating, I’ll Have A Martini

It was another bright and sunny day, kids were throwing their graduation hats in the air in triumphant. Celebration. This isn’t celebration; this isn’t something you should be happy about. He was leaving. He was leaving me behind. I was being left in the teenage world while he was going off into the great unknown adult world. He was maturing while I was stuck having to learn trigonometry. That wretched thing. I couldn’t remember the last time I had spoken to him. The last time I had him in my arms. They warned me this would happen, but I didn’t listen. I told them I would speak with him before he left, but now it was too late.

“Carsyn Ross.” I heard the principal call his name. His friends and family cheered for him, he walked towards the principal, shaking his hand while the principal exchanged the other hand with the diploma, they paused for pictures and he walked to the other side, meeting the rest of his class mates who had already received their diploma. He smiled all the way. Could he not see the rain cloud that was present over my head? Maybe if it stayed there long enough it would wash him out of my head. That was highly impossible, though.  

I looked at my run down skater shoes that would fall apart if I even stepped down on them too hard. I looked at my ripped jeans and my graphic t-shirt that looked like it was 5 years old. I played with my hair; bring some in front of my face. The cut was old and unoriginal. It looked like I hadn’t showered in days, which was true. I hadn’t really done much of anything in the past few days.

Did I really belong here? Everyone was so well dressed, the girls were wearing high heels and polished garments. Here I was wearing my worst clothes. The only reason I wore it...I wore this same outfit the day I first saw him. I thought maybe if I wore it, he would notice me? It didn’t seem to be working. It never worked. I had craved for his attention, I changed myself for him, even if it didn’t achieve anything other than leave me more heartbroken than ever. I remember all the ‘trends’ I tried. Punk, which is what I really started off with, emo, gangster, prep, reject, loner. I hated every single minute my life was read off a movie script. I couldn’t help it, I loved the stupid boy. He had stolen my heart and didn’t have the decency to return it, even now when he was leaving.

Could I really love someone forever? I thought to myself.

I could feel the pricking at my eyelids, the tears threatening to fall out in rivers. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry. I can’t cry. He isn’t worth it. Not when he doesn’t care I’m even here.

---

She’s crying again. She always seems to cry when I’m around. She was sitting the very back row, so far away, but still so close. It always seemed to be that way. We always kept our distance, but it killed me for her to be so far away. It was easier when I held her those couple times. No one knew, I didn’t even know. I had loved her since I first saw her. It was 3 years ago. When she first came to the school. She was in grade 7, so shy, so nervous.

<<Flashback>>

“Hey Car, look at all the fresh meat.” My friend said.

“Yeah.” I replied, a little taken back by one in particular. She had major roots. The dyed part being blonde while her natural color was a pretty brown color. Her eyes were the same color as her eyes, hazel. I noticed that when she walked past windows and the sun splashed on her natural hair, a red color would reflect off. She was short, but normal size for her age. A little cubby, but that would probably disappear once she starts growing. I noticed her style first. Her skater shoes and her slightly torn jean, her graphic t-shirt looked new, but it was worn down, probably purchased that way.

She flipper her sideswipe, turning around while doing so. She looked right at me, while I pretended to look through her.

“See anyone you like, Car?” My other friend asked. They knew I was lonely, and they knew I craved to be loved by someone. But they tried to force love. Whenever I told them I liked someone, they would ask her out for me, and she would say no. This had happened many times in the past few years. I have a good feeling about her. She seems sweet and caring. Just what I’ve been craving for my whole life. I can’t let this one go. I won’t let them chase her away as they did for every other girl.

<<End Flashback>>

She was wearing the same outfit as the day I first saw her. She looked different in the never-ending sea of crying parents and proud grandparents. She stuck out, but not like a sore thumb. It was more like the ugly duckling. He didn’t fit at first, and was made fun of, but when he found his family, he felt like he belonged. He was always beautiful, no matter what the other ducks said. This was the same case. I watched people pick on her. I watched her look at me and her eyes pleaded for help, but I never came. I was never her knight in shining armour; I wasn’t even her loser in aluminum foil.

<<Flashback>>

“You stupid bitch, you know what I heard about your family? I heard that they need to sell you for money. Is that true, you walking and talking AIDS machine.” I heard some annoying voice say. I heard a whimper follow it. I turned, and froze. It was her. They called her the AIDS machine. She was the one who was whimpering. She was on the ground, on her hands and knees, her head down, hair coving her face completely. A saw a small sparkle fall from her face to the ground. That’s how I knew, she was crying. They made her cry, they had broken the unwritten rule of bullying. They had called her family out. I had to stop them, but I couldn’t seem to move my body.

“Hey, you prostitute, how much do you cost per hour?” One boy said. Her body started shaking madly.

“You cunt, answer them!” Some girl said, kicking her in the gut. She dropped to the ground, still not showing her face. A small circle had now gathered around them. I was taller than most, so I didn’t need to stand in the front, I preferred the back anyways.

“Is it true, do your parents do hardcore drugs?” Some other boy asked. The same girl as before stomped on her back.

I have to stop this, I thought to myself, But why can’t I?

“N-n-no.” I heard her stutter out. She was trying to stand up now, her face was showing. Her eyes were red but she kept a good poker face.

“Oh look, she speaks!” One boy said. I made a mental note to add those boys to my hit list.

“My name is Skye, and yeah, I do. Surprisingly the AIDS haven’t gotten that bad yet.” Skye replied. So that was her name. Her confidence was going up.

“AIDS can make you not be able to speak?” Some blonde girl asked.

“It’s called mute, and no, I was being sarcastic.” Skye said while rolling her eyes.

“Are you being funny with us, Skye?” One boy asked, taking a step closer to her.

“No, I’m not, I’m just saying these things so you will have a reason as to why you are going to beat me up.” Sarah said, digging holes through the guys head.

“Oh really? Well isn’t that kind, girls, I think this is for you.” He said. And they moved in. They beat on her, I just watched and cringed, her eyes were searching for someone to help her, and her eyes landed on mine, I quickly looked away. I stepped back from the circle and spun on my heel. I don’t think I will ever be able to look her in the eyes again.

<<End Flashback>>

---

While I walked home, I couldn’t help but dwell on the moments he looked through me. It was like I was a ghost to him, invisible. Over the past few years I’ve come to love him and his flaws. I couldn’t seem to love my flaws. My freckled face and my fat body and the way I put people down without even realizing it. How I forgive everything cold that crossed my path. I couldn’t be mad at him, nor anyone else for that matter. I hated myself, and he hated me too.

“Hey honey!” my mother called from the front porch, breaking me from my thoughts.

“Hey, mom.” I called back, stepping into the open gate, closing it after me.

“How was your day?” she asked.

“Fine.” I said, faking the same smile I had come to use so often.

“Well that’s good. Bonnie needs you to babysit Sydney tomorrow night, would that be okay?” my mother always tried to find a way for me to earn my own money, she knew I hated asking her for some.

“Yeah, sure.”

---

I should go see her before I leave.
You can’t.
Why not?
Because, you imbecile, what are you going to say?
Um...
Exactly.
I will tell her how I feel.
What if she doesn’t feel the same way?
I know she does.
How do you know?
Because of the way she looks at me.
How would you know, you never look back at her.
Because...I just, know.
Like all the other times you ‘just knew’ those girls liked you.
Shut up.
Make me.
Grr...
That’s all you got? You are more of a pussy then I thought, too bad I’m not trapped inside a real man’s head.
Fuck you. I’m going to see her.
Good luck with that, you are just setting yourself up for heartbreak again.

I slowly walked towards her house. As I got closer and closer, my nerves grew larger and larger. What was I going to say to her? Should I be subtle? Up front? Romantic? So many things I could say...but there wasn’t enough time in the world to say it all. I had to start by saying sorry. Sorry for not paying attention to her. I have to explain why I did it. I have to explain why I love her. And why I have to leave. I have to tell her everything.

I stood in front of her gate. Breathe Steve, breathe. I can do this. Slowly, I opened her front gate. Walked up her steps, and brought my hand up to the door. I paused. I closed my eyes tightly and knocked quickly three times. I heard the door open and I opened my eyes quickly.

“Hi, can I help you?” A lady asked, I’m guessing her mother.

“Hello. Yes, my name is Carsyn and I’m here to see your daughter, Skye.” My voice shaked a little.

“Um...okay. She’s downstairs in her room, go right ahead.” Her mother let me in and I slowly made my way down to her room. I paused in front of her door. What was I going to say, again?

Crash.

I flung the door open to find her passed out on the floor. Four bottles lay around her, two lay open and empty, the two other were untouched.

No. Was all I couldn’t think of. This wasn’t in the plan. I was supposed to come, confess everything and leave. She wasn’t supposed to leave.

I felt a tear run down my face. All those years...ignoring her and this is what happens. It wasn’t supposed to end like this. I would leave and she would graduate, and then come to me. We would get married, have 2 kids, I would be a doctor and she would be a stay at home mother. We would die in our death beds holding each other. Well...at least we can still do one thing.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for ignoring you. I was just scared. My friends, they like to scare all the girls I liked away. I thought if I pretended not to like you, then I wouldn’t scare you away. I guess I didn’t scare you away; I did much, much worse. I love you so much. Why would you do this? Why?” I cried to her lifeless body. The tears caught in my throat. And that’s when I heard it. If they hadn’t of caught, I wouldn’t of been able to hear her over my crying. Her voice was so weak...but I still managed to hear it.

“I love you too.” They say the last words someone says before dying truly mean something. I now believe that. I now believe in everything I never did believe in before. I believe that you can find true love, and that there is such thing as love at first sight.

I took the two remaining bottles in my hands. I twisted the tops off. Slowly, I downed each pill dry. The more pills that digested in my stomach, the less I felt anything. I finished the bottle off, lying down next to her. I wrapped her arms around me and I wrapped mine around her. This is how I imagined it...well, not quite, but at least we would die in each other’s arms.

They say the last words before someone dies truly mean something, well these are mine, “If you go down, I’ll go down with you.”

That was loads of fun! : D I went with bo dizzle. We first went to my house and made doughnuts! : D That was pretty interesting. The nutmeg looked like poison or something...but anyways.

Me and elizabeth probably waited in line for the doors to open for like..an hour. but they finally did and we all flooded in. Its weird though because so many people went infront of us and was like "we're volunteering(sp?)" It was pissing me off. But its fine. and so we first went in line for faber drive but desided to get hello operator instead. and we met Justin Bunn, and he asked us our names and I was kinda creeped out at first but yeah. I got a shirt, its like...i dont even know how to explain it. its white..and its like volume thingys? idk. but yeah its sweet.

After we went and stood in our spots..which was close. and first hello operator came and it was pretty sweet, i didnt know anywords but thats okay. I yelled "TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT!" and the bassist Craig Mailman asked back "which one?" I yelled "all!" but he didnt hear, thats okay.

then faber drive came on. they played all their songs along with a cover of "I just died in your arms" and "paralyzer." SOmeone threw a gold heart thingy on the stage and Faber asked if he could keep it. It was pretty funny. Yeah not much happened with them.

atfer the show we pretty much cut everyone in line and I bought hello operators cd's. 2 for $10. : D and one of the securtity people called us normies. it was weird. me and elizabeth waited for like, half an hour until the line died down. and we met all of faver drive and hello operator. elizabeth and them were talking about teeth. when we came around to hello operator we were liek "we're back" and I got my shirt signed this time. : D so my shirt and my cd is sighned. woooo hooo! : D  yeah we took pictures with justin and andrew. : D i looked retarded in both but thats okay. im too lazy to type so I am just going to stop now. byebye!

-Love Sarah. <3

Me&Justin Bunn

Me&Andrew

Mmkay...Ten years later...*clears throat* Sorry guys! I've been...procrastinating...I havent even been doing my homework...Haha...yeah, but! I am posting now...and I am working on another fanfict...no slash...I don't really wanna write slash anymore...but I will finish this story..cause im cool like that. But I will might get two going at once. I might not post a lot...cause I wanna finish typing the story before I post again...And I'll do that with the other fanfict too. It will probably be original...unless I change my mind and deside to use some band. Uhhmm...It will be based on the book "The Little Mermaid." Yes. I still read those picture books. I have the collectables...and like, a gasillion of them. Sooo yeah! Uhm...two new characters introduced. +pictures. [ps. in the story I dont tell you how one of the new characters look...they look exactly like the picture. and I forgot to include it..and it doesnt really go anywhere...INJOY]

-Love Sarah.<3

Jordon.

Luke.

[05]

The sun beamed down over our heads, not being disturbed by one cloud. The sky seemed unrealistically blue today. The wind blew gently through the city, pushing our hair out of our faces. The light chirps of birds could be heard in the distance along with the yelling of children.

“Are you ready for your first bike lesson!?” Sharron screamed, flinging his hands into the air. Kevin looked scared out of his mind just looking at the bike.

“You don’t have to if you are scared...” I said quietly, looking at my hands pulling up the grass between my legs.

“I want to.” I heard Kevin say proudly. I looked up and he had the biggest smile spread across his face, I couldn’t help but smile back.

“Okay, if you really want to.” I said.

“YAY!” Kevin cheered while fling his hands over his head and waving them around. Sharron, Cole and I burst into laughter.

“He acts like such a kid...” Cole whispered to me.

“I know, it’s adorable.” I whispered back, admiring Kevin’s free spirit.

“Ready to get on, sweetie?” Sebastian said, holding the bright pink bike by its handle bars. Bright pink? Well...let’s just say, that’s how I found out I liked boys.

“Yeah.” Kevin said, observing a blue jay sitting in the tree. We all just stood there for a couple of minutes.

“Are you ready, Kevin?” Cole finally asked, breaking the silence that had fallen over us.

“Yay!” Kevin yelled and jumped up from where he was sitting. He tried to take a step...but failed miserably. All you could hear through the peaceful neighbourhood was a lot of screaming...

“Awe Kevin!” Sebastian cooed as he quickly dropped the bike and ran over to Kevin.

“Are you okay?” Cole asked, still sitting beside me.

“Sharron!!!” I heard Sebastian scream.

“Hmm?” I asked.

I saw Sebastian roll his eyes before saying, “Kevin wants you.”

“Oh! I’m sorry, are you okay Kevin?” I asked get up and walking towards Kevin and Sebastian. I heard Cole’s footsteps behind me.

Kevin nodded his head. I could tell he was holding back his tears as best as he could. Kevin sat on the ground clutching his knee, with tears rimming his eyes, threatening to drain out if he even breathed. I wanted to take a picture so bad. Kevin looked like a classic 5 year old after they had tripped over their own shoe.

I laughed to myself, looks like this boy could cure my bitchy moods with just a facial expression.

“What’s so funny, space boy?” I heard Cole asked.

“Nothing.” I replied, I could feel my cheeks burning up, so I looked at my suddenly very interesting shoes, letting my hair fall over my face.

“PIGGYBACK RIDE!!!” I heard someone scream and then a weight was pressed against my back. I fell forward, with an ‘umph.’

“I’m sowwy.” I heard someone, the same person, say with a giggle.

“Haha, if you want a piggyback ride, ask first!” I said laughing. I turned myself around underneath the person and came face to face with none other than Kevin. I pulled my hand up and ruffled his hair, he started giggling more. I smiled, he was just too adorable.

“Okay boys, time to get up! Luke is coming over!!” Sebastian screamed. Kevin rolled off of me and I just laid there staring at the sky.

Sebastian cared for Luke so much, although he might flirt with other boys in front of Luke, he would never ever do anything to hurt Luke. Luke was head-over-heels for Sebastian, everyone knew that! Luke probably would jump off a bridge if Sebastian asked him to. It was adorable to watch the pair. Sebastian, the outrageous boy, and Luke, the boy who no one really knew was there. Sure, he was drop dead gorgeous, but he never really stood out in a crowd, he always would try to just blend in and not be noticed. You wouldn’t expect a boy like Sebastian to go for a boy like Luke...well, you would, but to actually see them together was really surprising, to me at least.

Luke was a very pretty boy, his face was soft and comforting, no prominent cheekbones in sight. His eyes were a golden brown, very comforting color. His hair was a very dark brown, almost black. He didn’t feel the need to dye it, he didn’t want to be ‘fake’ as he called it. Luke and Sebastian looked very alike. Someone once thought they were twins, boy were they shocked when they found out they were dating. I still remember the look on that poor ladies face, it was priceless.

“Earth to space boy, come back to us!” Someone said, brining me out of my thoughts.

“Jordon?” I asked. Wasn’t Luke supposed to be coming?

“No, the boogie man, of course!” Jordon said, laughing slightly.

“Wasn’t Luke supposed to be coming?” I asked.

“Yes, he is riiighhht, over there!” Jordan replied, pointing to a tree. Sebastian was up it and Luke was trying to get him down. Luke hated when Sebastian climbed, Luke always thought Sebastian would fall out and hurt himself.

I nodded my head, “Have you met Kevin yet?”

“Yes, he seems like a very nice boy, very shy though.”

“Yeah, probably more shy then Luke is.” Jordon laughed and nodded his head.

“Well, we better go help Luke get Sebastian out of the tree.”

“Yeah, we should.” Jordon put his hand out to help me up, I gladly accepted and he pulled me up with ease.

“Sebastian, please come down!” Luke begged, once we got in hearing distance.

“Luke, please come up!” Sebastian said mimicking Luke’s tone. Luke put his hand on his hip, supporting all his weight on one leg. Sebastian smiled and jumped down.

“See, I’m safe. No harm done.” Sebastian gave Luke a big bear hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“I think it’s a feel good friend mommennnttttttt!” Cole screamed jumping on Sebastian and Luke.

“WO!” Jordon screamed, jumping on them as well.

“Come on, Kevin.” I said, grabbing his hand and we jumped on everyone else.

---

“He isn’t ready to go to school!” I screamed, quite frustrated with my parents.

“Yes, Sharron, he is!” My mother screamed back.

“He doesn’t know enough stuff! I could stay home and teach him! I’m a straight A student! I could do it!” I pleaded.

“You will miss school, and that is unacceptable.” My father said calmly.

“But dad! They will eat him alive! Please, just give me at least one more week! I could do it as an extra credit thing. University’s like credits!” I clasped my hands together, shaking them to try to get my point across.

My father looked at my mother, they had that weird mind telepathy thing they did all the time. Whenever I asked, they said it was because they were soul mates, they shared a soul, and therefore had the same feelings on things.

“Okay, but Monday morning take Kevin to school and run it with your principal.” My mother said.

“YES!” I screamed, I ran and hugged my parents, “THANK YOU SO MUCH!”

“Haha, your welcome, now go see if he is okay with it.” My father said, patting me on my back awkwardly.

“Oh, he will be!” I screamed, running for the stairs. I jumped two at a time. I had to tell Kevin the good news, and fast!

“KEVIN KEVIN, KEVIN! GUESS WHAT! GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT!” I screamed, flinging my door open to reveal a slightly scared boy sitting cross legged on his bed. I jumped on it and started jumping up and down. He started bouncing as well, since he was sitting on it.

“...What...?” He asked nervously.

“I GET TO HOME SCHOOL YOU FOR AWHILE! JUST YOU AND ME!” I screamed, jumping off his bed and going to mine.

He just kind of looked at me funny for a little before replying “That’s cool!” By then, I was completely out of breathe and I was sprawled out in my bed.

“So how did you like my friends?” I asked breathlessly.

“The seemed nice.” He said smiling at me.

“Yeah, they are very nice.”

“Yeah.”

“You sure are talking more...and it has only been like what, two days?”

This time he didn’t say anything, he just nodded. Did I say something wrong? I watched as he slowly laid down in his bed.

“Good night.” I said, jumping up to turn off the lights. I jumped back on my bed and fell asleep, thinking of what I had said to make him stop talking.

OKAY! Well...I haven't posted in a long time...I think ima dedicate this one to Maddi[williamxo] because she practiclly forced me to write it..and if she didn't, I probably would of never written again...SO! yeah. here ya go! =] *plus its really long and all her fanfictions are long. mine was 4 and a half pages! =O. I had to cut some stuff out though...otherwise it would of been longer! Lol. ANYWAYS! go read! NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!

-Love Sarah. <3

[04]

5:00 am.

Still no sleep...

Why?  You may ask.

Well...if you had a gorgeous boy in your bed, would you be able to sleep?

I didn’t think so.

Cole and Sebastian stayed the night, so they were sleeping together in Kevin’s new bed. Kevin and I, were in my bed. Kevin barley took up any space on my bed. I was afraid that if I close my eyes, he would disappear. That is the other reason I’m still not asleep.

Sleepless nights+me=Very, very, VERY bitchy mood.

I couldn’t help it though...

“Phil...why?” I heard someone softly say. Cole. So he did know about Phil cheating on him? I heard soft crying. I hated to see Cole in such a bad state...he was always the one to cheer everyone else up...

“Cole...are you awake?” I softly said. The crying stopped.

“...Cole?” I asked again.

“Yeah?” He replied, his voice was raspy.

“Is everything okay?” I was concerned...I had only seen him cry once before, when we confronted him on Phil’s cheating.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Coles voice broke...I knew he was lying. His voice always breaks when he’s lying.

“Cole...I know you’re lying...” I said softly...looking at the covers of my sheets that I could barely make out in the dark.

“I know...I don’t really want to talk about it right now...maybe in the morning with Sebastian...and Kevin?”

“Sure...whatever you want. Just feel better.”

“Thanks Sharron, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Oh, and Sharron?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t worry, Kevin isn’t going to disappear if you close your eyes.” I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks.

---

“Shawty had them Apple Bottom Jeans [Jeans], Boots with the fur [With the fur], The whole club was looking at her, She hit the flo [She hit the flo], Next thing you know, Shawty got low low low low low low low low”

I groaned. Waking up to Flo Rida, wasn’t my ideal way of waking up. I lifted the bed from under my head and flung it over my head, holding it down enough to suffocate me.

“Damnit, Sharron! You are going to kill yourself if you don’t loosen the grip you have on that pillow!” I heard Sebastian say.

“Turn off the damn music!” I screamed.

“Not until you get your big fat lazy head outta bed! It’s like, 2:00 pm! Kevin is lonely!” Sebastian said while trying to pry the pillow off my face.

“Kevin?!” I asked, my head flew out from under the pillow. Low and behold, there was Kevin sitting awkwardly on his bed. He waved to me. I waved back.

“Now will you turn it off?!” I practically growled.

“Whoa...someone had a bad night!” Sebastian said while waving his finger in my face. I heard Kevin giggle from his bed.

I looked around the room, noticing Cole wasn’t there. Did he leave, trying to avoid the conversation we were supposed to have today?

“Where’s Cole?” I asked, still searching my room for any signs of him.

“He...is downstairs making food, I think.” Sebastian said.

“Oh...let’s go! I’m hungry!” I said, swinging my legs over the bed and standing. I think I got up too quickly, because as soon as I was upright, I was down on the floor...if we didn’t clean earlier today..it wouldn’t of hurt so much!

Sebastian burst out laughing and Kevin was trying to confine his giggles, but it wasn’t going so well for him.

“What? You think it is funny when I fall?” I asked them both. Sebastian just nodded, he couldn’t take time to speak, I don’t even think he could breathe!

“Yes.” Kevin said, covering his mouth with his hand to hopefully try to keep him from bursting like Sebastian?

“What’s so funny up he-” I heard someone speak from the door way, Cole, he cut off his sentence halfway through it, “Sharron, what on heavens earth are you doing on the floor?”

“He...when...HAHA!” Sebastian said between his fit of laughter. Kevin was still giggling like mad. He was adorable.

I just scowled.

Cole reached his hand out to help me, after walking from the door to get to me. I Gladly accepted and he pulled me up with ease.

As soon as I was up, I went straight for the door. As I walked down the stairs, a wave of food hit me. Mmmm...My stomach growled.

“I know, baby, you’re hungry! We will be eating in a second.” I said to my stomach while patting it lightly.

“Sharron, who on earth are you talking to?!” I jumped, not expecting it fell down the rest of the stairs...thank goodness there was only 3 steps left.

“Thanks Cole.” I said, sarcasm dripping off my words.

“Are you okay?” He said franticly, running down the steps.

“Yes. I am perfectly fine, thank you very much. Now help me up, damnit!” I scowled, for the second time in less than 5 minutes.

“Didn’t get enough sleep? He really won’t disappear...” Cole trailed off, looking away from me.

“Which reminds me...you have to talk about it after breakfast.”

“...Fine.”

“FOOD! YYEAHHH!” We heard none other than Sebastian scream from the top of the stairs.  Kevin slowly followed him down, past me and Cole.

“Let’s go eat, you klutz.” Cole said, helping me up.

----

“I know he cheats on me...I caught him...he doesn’t know that I know.” Cole said sadly, a tear running down his cheek. Sebastian went over to him and hugged him. We were sitting on my bedroom floor in a circle. Kevin was on my left, Cole was on my right and Sebastian was sitting across from me.

I felt terrible for Cole...no one deserved to be cheated on, no matter how mean the person. Not even him.

“Sharron...what does ‘cheat’ mean?” I heard Kevin ask me.

“Well...Kevin, it is when two people are in a relationship and one of those people go and have a relationship with another person, do you understand?” I told him. My explanation didn’t make sense to me.  

“Yes, is it bad?” This boy sure didn’t know a lot of stuff...

“Yes, it is really bad.” I replied.

“Are you cheating on me?” He asked. I smiled. If he asked me if I was cheating on him...what does that mean?

“No, Kevin, I’m not, and never ever ever would cheat on you.” I said, ruffling his hair. He smiled.

“Good.” He said, trying to pat down his hair.

“Are you cheating on me?” I asked, doing my best pouty face. He giggled, I couldn’t help but smile.

“Nope!” He said, still giggling. I ruffled his hair again. He’s so adorable...I’m so happy I’m going to be the one to teach him about the world.

Hahaha...you know what I realzed the other day? All my characters look the same. But so does every other emo boy out there. SO! I guess its okay, right? And yeah..my fanny is going too fast...HAHAH! LMAO! YOU GET IT?! XD! woooooooooo. I am SO lame. SO...I have exams next week...Monday I have english, Tuesday I have Science, Wensday I have NOTHING! WOOT! and Thursday I have Math, Fun. I had a family studies exam today. I so failed it...LOL! OH! and. Will You Be My Valentine? XD. I put this in bold so it attracts to your EYES! mwahaha, lmao. Anyways...FUck, now I cant get it to leave. LMAO! anyways...BYEBYE!

-LOVE SARAH! x3

[03]

“What movie should we watch?” Cole said, kneeling beside the cabinet full of DVD’s.

“Let’s watch something scary!” Sebastian yelled.

“YEAH! How about...The Grudge?” Cole asked.

“No! I want to watch The Ring!” Sebastian argued.

“I don’t know if we should watch something scary...” I said, looking over to Kevin who was leaning against my arm, following the conversation with his eyes. He looked back up at me.

“I’ll be fine.” He said. I didn’t believe him but it seemed like Cole and Sebastian did. Before I could protest, they had already put the movie in. Sebastian jumped back on the couch and Cole sat on an arm chair. The movie hadn’t even begun and I could already Kevin pushing himself into me.  

“Are you sure you are going to be okay?” I whispered to him. I felt his head turn on my side and I looked at him. He was staring back.

“Yes. I need to be a big boy.” He whispered, starting to move away from me. I pulled him back to my side.

“No, you don’t! I’m here for you, you can be scared.”

“But dad says...”

“Dad? My dad?”

“No...mine.”

“Oh, what does he say?”

“That I can’t be scared...”

“Awe, Kevin, your dad isn’t here to hurt you anymore. He never will hurt you again. Do you understand? You can be as scared as you like! I will be here, I will protect you.”

“What if he comes back?”

“He won’t! I promise!”

“Would you two keep it down?! We are trying to watch a movie, here!” Cole screamed at as. Kevin flinched. I pulled him closer to me.

“I promise.” I whispered in his ear.

“CAN WE HAVE A SLEEP OVER?!” Sebastian screamed.

“Shh! Kevin is sleeping!” I whispered harshly at him. Kevin had fallen asleep about an hour ago on my shoulder.

“You guys look adorable, can I take a picture?” Cole asked, before I could protest, he already had his camera out.

“I can’t believe you brought your camera.” I sighed.

“Of course I brought it! It’s like my second foot!” he said, pressing a button. A quick flash blinded me.

“Um...Cole, you already have two feet.” Sebastian said.

“Shit, how bright can that flash be? I see spots!” I said, moving my arm around in the air, pretending I couldn’t see.

“Oh...then...my third foot!” Cold said.

“Sharron, stop it, you look like an idiot.” Sebastian told me, hitting my head.

“Ow...” I said, rubbing the back of my head and pouting.

“What’s wrong, Sharron?” I heard someone say beside me. The weight on my shoulder was realized. I looked over to see Kevin ruffling his hair. He looked adorable, his hair was sticking up everywhere.

“Kevin!” Cole said. Kevin looked. There went another flash.