Heartbreak Is Half The Fun, You Bring The Bullets I’ll Bring The Gun

He sat, cold and alone. Silent tears ran down his cheeks. He never thought grieving could be so hard. But he also never thought he would have the need to grieve. He never thought this would happen.
The wind blew, blowing his blonde hair around recklessly, revealing his face to the world. Quickly, we his free hand he held it down. He was ashamed that he was crying, everyone had told him he was allowed to cry, but he still felt wrong. She wouldnt have wanted him to cry over her. She wouldnt of wanted him to be sad because of her.
"I just want you to be happy..." the voice of her whispered in his ear. His head shot up, darting everywhere, looking for her figure somewhere in the darkness.

He sighed in defeat, and pushed himself closer to the wall behind him, craving for some sort of touch. He pressed his eyes closed and tried to think of her leaning against his back. The cold brick wall started to feel softer and warmer, he could feel the false burning sensation of the skin to skin contact on his back. He knew it was all in his head...but it felt so real. He turned, and pressed his lips to the false women leaning against him. He burst out crying when they came in contact with the brick wall. It wasnt what he was hoping for.    
"Its all in my head..." he whispered to himself, chocking on his tears.
"Its allowed to be, love." her voice whispered in his ear again. This time he didnt move. He swore he could feel her sitting in his lap, her head pushed into the crook of his neck. Her dark brown hair, tickling his neck. He wrapped his arms around the counterfeit women, giving him so much sensation and warmth.

The memories of her with him brought tears to his eyes. All memories with her was good to them, even the less fortunate ones.

It was a cold winter night, the power had gone out and they were cuddling on the couch, candles flickering around them.
"You know, this is my baby blanket. Its giant!" he spoke excitedly.
"Yes it is." she laughed.
He sighed happily, starring at her, etching her face even further into his memory.
She looked up at him, "What?"
He smiled, "Nothing, youre just so beautiful."
She shook her head, "You always say that."
"Thats because its true."
"I dont know what you are talking about."
"Im talking about you..." he whispered into her ear.

Shivers ran down her spine. She placed her head back into the crook of his neck. He gently nuzzled her and held her tighter in his arms. They sat in silence for awhile, just enjoying each others company.
"Anthony?" she asked, her lips moving against his skin.
"Yes, dear?" he asked, lifting her head up so he could hear her more clearly.
"I love you." she said, staring into his ghostly blue eyes.
He smiled and put her head back to its previous position. He used one of his hands to stroke her hair while the other one stayed wrapped around her.
"I love you, too."

His tears began to flow as if an ocean had been trapped in his head. That was the last time they had exchanged any real words. Made an attempt at conversation. He missed her terribly, already. She had only been gone since the morning. He was yearning for her, his heart felt as if it was stabbed a million times and placed in a blender. The worst thing was, he knew how much it hurt her when she left. He was aware of the pain she endured, but never experienced it. He wished deeply it had been him instead of her. He was nothing without her, and he now had nothing to live for.
"Dont. Even. Think about it." her words were stern. Though he knew she was just a memory. A memory that he loved. He still had a connection with her. She was there...just not physically. She was still in his heart, and would remain there as long as he could help it. He would take revenge on the man who did this to her...

He was sipping coffee in his office, the television being the least interesting thing there. He glanced up at it, and saw a picture of her. He was stunned. He couldnt hear what the newscast was saying. He stood up, dropping his coffee mug on the way and stumbled to the television.
"Live, breaking news. 24 year old women hit by drunk driver. The womens name was Sarah Harcus. The males name is Joseph Silvertein." The lady said, her expression was grave.
Why did she use was for Sarahs name? Was is past tense...Oh no, no. He thought, tears forming in his eyes.
"Fatal car crash, police are saying too many have died in DUIs crashes this year."

His mind went blank, except for one key word. Fatal. Her crash was fatal.

Shes...shes...no, she cant be. She promised me shed come back. He was hysterical and his co-workers could hear his crying from the other side of the office building.
He heard his office door open but he didnt care who it was, it wouldnt be her.
"Are you okay?" One of his co-workers asked, he didnt care who it was, he just wanted them gone.
"Get out." He said angrily. The person didnt say anything, and soon after he heard the door shut.
She might be still alive...maybe the coroner made a mistake! I have to go help her! He thought to himself, jumping to his feet and running out of his office. He ran down the stairs, not even thinking about waiting for the elevator. When he got to the ground floor, he dashed out the doors and ran towards his car. He didnt stop to wait for traffic. He didnt even realize there was cars honking and drivers screaming at him. He quickly jumped into his car and tore out of his space, heading straight for the hospital.
He demanded to see her, the coroners warned him he shouldnt, but he went ahead anyways. Her was was cut in so many places, it looked horrible. It was torn up, her cheek was bruised and her nose looked broken.
"Did she suffer?" He asked.
The two coroners looked at each other.
"Tell me the truth." He glared at the two men.
One of the men looked down and the other one spoke, "Yes, very much."
He clenched his fists together and his face turned extremely hard. He looked at both of the men. They were frightened of him. "Thank you." He walked out.

"Im sorry. Im so sorry." He cried out to nothing. He didnt get a reply from the invisible women. He cried harder. He wanted to hear her again, to feel her. It seemed as if she had left him, for the second time. He couldnt stand it. He had to have her. His heart pulled in all directions. He was ready to do anything to get her back. If at least for the moment. He had to to tell her something before she moved on into another life. So he took out his switch blade from his back pocket. He thought about how he couldnt do anything without her, how he had no one else to turn to. No one else to love.  No matter how much he thought of ending his own life, she didnt speak. He sighed, and lowered the blade to his wrist.
"Havent I already told you specifically NOT to do that?" Her voice come out of no where. He silently cheered in victory.

"I have to tell you something." He said to the air. He thought for sure someone would hear him talking to himself and send him to a mental hospital, but he didnt care.
"Quickly, Nino." 

Nino, she hasnt used my nickname for awhile... he thought to himself. He took a deep breathe, "I love you. I always have and I always will."
"I love you too. Dont forget about me, but dont dwell on me either. I just want you to be happy."
"I wont. Ill never be able to love another..."
"Please, for me."
"Never."
He could hear the false women sigh, "Goodbye Anthony, I love you."
"Goodbye Sarah...Youll always be mine."
He sank further into the ground and cried.